Yocheved Feinerman

Go With Yo

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Insights into the Beit Shemesh Elections

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On Tuesday, October 30, the residents of Beit Shemesh saw the light.

They dared to dream.  

Supporters of Dr. Aliza Bloch rushed to vote.

Others stayed home and silently protested.

Defying public expectations, they stayed home and refused to vote for the two-term incumbent mayor, Moshe Abutbul.

The votes were counted.

The votes were recounted.

Early Thursday morning, thanks to the votes of 250 soldiers, Dr. Aliza Bloch, announced her victory, as the new mayor of Beit Shemesh.

According to NYTimes’ journalist David Halbfinger,

“the election this week of women as mayor – with the support of thousands of ultra-Orthodox voters who defied their rabbis to support her – was felt across this hilly city like nothing less than an earthquake”

Click here to read more 

Let’s Talk: Jewish Federation of North America General Assembly

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High Energy Mom’s Reflections, Insights and Proactive Plan from the JFNAGA 2018

We assembled.

The young and old

The students and teachers

The women and men

The Reform and Orthodox

The Israelis and international guests

Our instructions were clear.

Written on a bright yellow sign outside the entrance.

We assembled.

Ready! Set! Talk!

The Jewish Federation of North America’s General Assembly summoned us with a clear mission.

To talk.

To listen.

To share.

To communicate.

To dream.

To love.

How do you envision the global Jewish community in the year 2028?

Ready! Set! Talk!

How do I envision the global Jewish community in the year 2028?

Inspiring. Thoughtful.  Hopeful.

Insights, cultivated from Jewish luminaries, such as Stanley Weinstein, Avi Dickstein, Yossi Kedem, Rachel Azaria, MK Yehuda Glick, Andrea Kaufman, Joan Levin, and many other leaders, motivated me to begin contemplating our future.

Slowly, a proactive plan for our Jewish communal future began to emerge.

High Energy Mom’s Vision and Plan of Action

The global Jewish Community of 2028 resembles your (read: my) Shabbat family dinner.

Sweet and Bitter

Harmonious and Cacophonous

Laughs and Tears

Agreements and Arguments

Concord and Conflict

Truces and Brawls

Hugs and Shoves

Are we really going to do this again, next week?

Yes.

Next week

Next year

Next generation

Our global Jewish family will gather around the Shabbat table.

Sanctifying the day.

Recognizing our Creator.  

Feeling grateful for our abundant blessings.

Expressing joy for our sisters.

Empathizing the pain of our brothers.

Together, we will communicate.

Together, we will dream.

Together, we will speculate.

Am Echad, B’Lev Echad. One nation. One heart.

Hand in hand, building a colorful future.

Ready! Set! Talk!

Today.

Tomorrow.

Next week.

Next year.

At home. At school. At work. At camp. At shul. At city hall. At the airport. At the supermarket. At the gym. At the beach. At a concert.

In Miami. In Tel Aviv. In Jacksonville. In Brazil. In New Mexico. In London. In Efrat. In New York. In Canada. In Modi’in. In Alabama.

In Jerusalem.

You Need to Talk

Here is your #highenergychallenge.

Take out a piece of paper.

Or open the Notes app on your phone.

Make a list.

List 3 people that you really, really do not want to be on the same room with, much less speak with.

Next, write down the name of the most idealistic person you know.

The dreamer.

Call. Talk. Listen. Believe. Collaborate.

Seriously, today!

Who knows?

You might be having coffee, with the next, Gene Greenzweig a”h, visionary founder of the International March of the Living.

Let’s Talk!

Yocheved Pianko Feinerman is the High Energy Mom!

Why We Loved Einot Tsukim (And You Will, Too!)

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Mommy, what are we doing tomorrow?

Can we go on a water hike?

Dov, what are we doing with the kids tomorrow? 

Let’s do something educational.

Yaakov, what are we doing tomorrow?

We need to find a place with a Sukkah.

Love, Love, Israel, what are we doing tomorrow?

Note to self: Next year make advance plans for Sukkot family trips.

Let’s Go to Einot Tsukim!

Bright and early the next morning, we set out for a Chol Hamoed family tiyul to Einot Tsukim.

Note to self: Leave earlier. Get gas the night before.

We arrived at Einot Tsukim, just north of the Dead Sea, in record time.

Note to self: When driving in Israel, ignore the shortcuts suggested by Waze.

Jumping out of our car, we were immediately wowed by the panoramic sights of Einot Tsukim.

Note to self: Do not get the car cleaned before a family tiyul.

Einot Tsukim Nature Reserve

Green vegetation growing in the wilderness.

Magical pools.

Flora and fauna species.

Remains of human activity.

Tranquility.

Note to self: Remove any expectations of tranquility from family trips.

Why We Loved Einot Tsukim

Educational ✅

Did you know?

  • Many sources claim that Einot Tsukim is the “en eglayim” referred to by the prophet Yechezkel in his prophecy about the Dead Sea (Yechezkel 47:10).
  • In the late 19th century, Scotish priest Henry Baker Tristram, “the father of fauna and flora in the Holy Land” and his scientific delegation spent two days exploring the richness of Einot Tsukim.
  • Between 1900-1914 the British Palestine Exploration Fund marked the levels of the Dead Sea. The rock used to measure the levels of the Dead Sea, the British Fund Rock, can be viewed today, from the road bordering the nature reserve.
  • In 1947, Einot Tsukim was marked as the first Israeli hiking trail.
  • View the significant changes that have taken place over the recent decades at the observation point at Einot Tsukim.

Note to self: Read the guidebook, before you try and teach your children about the area.

Hiking ✅

Marked trails led us on a nature walk around the beautiful riverbed.

The “under 10 crowd” had a blast splashing mud all over themselves, and anyone in their proximity.

Note to self: Next time, call ahead and book a tour of the “Hidden Reserve”  llocated on the southern part of Einot Tsukim, where the springs rise. 

Picnic Benches ✅

Hungry, and slightly muddy, we quickly chose a picnic bench shaded by palm trees. Close to the natural spring waters. Near a Sukkah.

Out came our sandwiches, cucumbers, peppers, potato chips, and bottled water.

Note to self: Bring a barbecue. Bring hot dogs. Bring steaks! Buy the yellow fan thing.

Sukkah ✅

Kol Hakavod, to the family, sitting near us.

Worried that there would not be a Sukkah, they shlepped a full-size Sukkah and rebuilt it at the nature reserve.

Rest assured, you can leave your Sukkah at home.

Einot Tsukim was fully prepared with multiple Sukkot, set up at different locations throughout the nature reserve.

Swimming ✅

Swimming.

Wading.

Floating.

Dunking.

Relaxing.

Note to self: Remain alert and avoid getting hit in the head by beach balls.

The big winner was the Tamar Pool.

Closely supervised by watchful lifeguards, this larger and deeper pool is open for swimming every day in July and August and on weekends and holidays from mid-March until the end of November.

Note to self: Avoid expulsion from the pool. Do not jump in.

Economical ✅

Chol Hamoed can be a bit pricey.

Einot Tsukim can be a relatively modest option.

Are you a member of the Israel National Parks?

Free!

Note to self: Renew our membership – so many places to visit.

For those, without a current membership, the entrance fee was pretty minimal.

Note to self: Always bring small change for ices, ice cream, and for Turkish coffee without milk.

High Energy Mom’s Packing List

Note to self: Save money by using your complimentary shul, mishloach manot freezer bag.

We Loved Einot Tsukim And You Will Too…

The hidden oasis.

The natural pools.

The hike around the beautiful river bed.

The history.

The quality family time.

The High Energy!

Photo Credit: Yaakov Landman

Swam in the Tamar Pool? Got splashed by mud in the riverbed? Love to hear your experiences at Einot Tsukim! Comment below! Don’t forget to add pics!! 

Click here to plan your trip to Einot Tsukim Nature Reserve.

How to Teach Kids to Say Sorry on Yom Kippur

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I’m back! I’m off to shul for Yom Kippur davening.

Somehow I managed to find a babysitter, and am able to join my older daughters and participate in the service.

Things have changed.  

I am a parent.

I know my kids will be watching me.

Observing my intensity. Monitoring my commitment.

I’m going to let you into my secret.

I’m nervous about the authenticity of klopping al chet in the presence of my emotionally attuned children.

I aspire to teach my children to take personal responsibility for their actions and to apologize with intent.

This Yom Kippur, I have a strategy for teaching my kids how to klop al chet.

First Teach Yourself

As a parent, I want to influence and inspire my children.

Children can’t be lectured how to sincerely apologize.

Children have to be a witness to my process.

Children need to see and feel, and be taught the right words.

My kids need to witness my struggle.

My kids need to witness my humility.

Why is it so hard to say “I’m sorry”?

By saying “I’m sorry” my imperfections are highlighted.

I feel vulnerable.

I feel ashamed.

I feel a loss of control.

Through watching me, my children will learn.

Intention

How many times (a day!) have I begged my kids to apologize.

“Just say you’re sorry!”

No!

It doesn’t work that way!

What does “I’m Sorry” really mean?

    • My actions caused harm
    • I take full responsibility for my actions and their effects
  • I will make appropriate corrections

An apology is a declaration.  

    • I promise to try my best
  • I will not repeat my mistake

An apology comes from the heart, with words full of intent – kavanah.

Guide

Can children actually have kavanah when apologizing?

Children are born with the capacity for empathy, understanding, and love.  

Sometimes, they struggle with meeting my parental expectations and navigating social norms.

Sometimes, they struggle with recognizing the extent of their mistake and the hurt they caused another.

Sometimes, they struggle with translating these feelings into a genuine willingness to make amends.

I am their guide for mediation.

I am their guide to reconciliation.

I am their guide to the art of compromise.

Empower Them

Apologizing is a choice.

I choose when to apologize.

My children deserve that same option.

I want my kids to apologize with kavanah.

I hope to empower them to decide when an apology is necessary.

Yom Kippur Community

Why do we klop al chet individually and communally on Yom Kippur?

As I look around, I realize that I am not alone.

We are all trying to improve ourselves.

Children, we are on this journey together as individuals and as a community.

Apologizing is hard work.

The Golden Rule  

מה ששנוא עליך אל תעשה לחברך שבת ל”א, ע”א

“What is hateful to you, do not do to your friend”

Would you like if someone threw your toy over the fence?

Would you feel sad if someone didn’t save you a seat on the bus?

Would you like it if your friend gossiped about you on social media?

Treat others in the way you wish to be treated.

Let’s strive for ואהבת לרעך כמוך–

Love Your Neighbor As You Love Yourself.

This is what my children need to see and to hear.

Again and Again.

Growth not Perfection

I wasn’t perfect last year. Probably, I won’t be perfect this year.

Luckily, Judaism saves perfection for angels.

Humans can grow.

Before entering a new year, during Aseret Yemei Teshuva, I go through the process of self-improvement.

The blasts of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah take me back to the past year.

Offering a chance to reflect on my actions.

Was I a good friend?

Could I have been a more patient mother?

Maybe I should have refrained from repeating that story?

The teshuva process is completed as I stand on Yom Kippur and beat my chest in authentic confession.

Now, the new year can start!

Through this humbling process, I gain insight into my behavior, and I can use the past as an opportunity for future growth.

Without any explicit instructions, my children will hopefully be inspired.

Inspired to discover who they are.

Accept that mistakes will be made.

Confident to recognize them as opportunities for growth.

My 5778 Yom Kippur Resolutions

Pay attention to my interactions with my kids.

When I’m wrong, make an effort to apologize with Kavana to my kids.

I’m not going to force my kids to say, “I’m Sorry”.

Let them make the decision when to apologize.

Ask them questions.

Help them analyze their feelings and understand the root of the problem.

Encourage them to put themselves in the other person’s place.

Remind them that an apology is a promise to not repeat the offense.

In the merit of apologies from the heart, may we all be blessed with the capacity to forgive ourselves and one another.

What are your tips for teaching your kids to apologize?

Yocheved Pianko Feinerman is “leaning in” and embracing the harmony and chaos of raising four “spirited” children, juggling an active career as an educator, and writer while planning the next 24-hour getaway with her husband.   

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(Originally posted in the Times of Israel on September 26

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/5778-the-year-i-will-teach-my-kids-to-klop-al-chet/