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Parenting

Go With Yo – Sha’haron

July 5, 2019 by Yocheved Feinerman Leave a Comment

This week, my car had a mind of its own. Multiple times this past week, at 4:26 pm (or should I say 4:32) I found myself parked in front of SHA’HARON (Sharon’s Tzahron), only to remember, with dismay that Sha’haron had ended.

Charlie was our second child enrolled in Sharon Krasna outstanding Tzaharon (after-school program), so I knew from the start the quality of the child-centered structured, fun environment, reflective of Sharon’s passion towards children.

This year, Aviva Segal joined and was a fabulous addition, to the program. Together, Sharon and Aviva prioritized understanding the individuality of our son, and each individual child enrolled. Charlie’s strengths, challenges, interests, dreams, and fears were accessed, with patience and encouragement.

I have watched my son, as well as so many of his peers, mature, over the last year, in the safe, fun, and creative atmosphere that is Sha’haron.

Thank you, Sharon and Aviva, for picking up my son everyday from gan with a smile, walking him to your home, feeding him a nutritious lunch, encouraging him to develop social skills, foster and inspire his love for learning, teaching him to play Scrabble, taking him bi-weekly to local parks, arranging interesting field trips, and most importantly, for teaching him so many important lessons.

I hope, hope, hope, for the benefit of Modi’in’s children that you will be returning after your “shabbaton”. The children of Modi’in NEED you!

This week, I’ll try and remember and stop blocking your driveway ????

Filed Under: Blog, Modi'in, Parenting

JudyArt – Forever In Our Hearts and In Our Homes

April 2, 2019 by Yocheved Feinerman Leave a Comment

Register Early for JudyArt!

One of the best pieces of advice that I received when my kids were younger was to register, early, for Judy Halperin’s (z”l) art chug. “Register now,” friends advised, “it is tough to get a spot in her chug.”

And so, I registered Ellie – beginning our multi-year relationship with JudyArt.

JudyArt Minion

Quality Time with JudyArt

One of the advantages too always being late, parking in the wrong spot and needing to be reminded to bring post-dated checks was that I had the good fortune of spending quality time with JudyArt Halperin.

Judy Halperin and Aderet, June 2017

Often, while I was illegally parked on the sidewalk, Judy would approach the window of my car, beg me to find a better parking spot, give me an update on my children’s progress and tell me how hard she is looking to find a place for one of my children in the following year’s chug.

Week after week, my daughters, like so many of their peers, made extraordinary efforts to be on time and “finish their projects.” JudyART “projects” are one of a kind pieces of art, expressing the individual creativity of each artist. Judy mentored students and guided them through the process of finding their own unique artistic abilities and passions. While, most childhood art projects that tend to focus on uniformity, culminating in identical finished works, a JudyArt creation reflects the inner personality of the artist with finished products bearing the individual stamp of each budding artist.

During one of our “sessions”- (this time, I think around January, when she finally sat me down at her dining room table to finish writing checks), I asked Judy about the secret to her success. Judy, explained to me, that she genuinely loved the children in her classes, and was passionate about individualizing the process. She made extraordinary efforts to keep her classes small, providing personal attention, to each and every student.

JudyArt Exhibition, June 2018

Create Your Own Mold

In a world, where so many “grown-ups,” teachers and well-meaning adults try to force children to fit into the mold, using patience, a sense of humor and gifted artistic skill Judy encouraged our children to construct their own distinctive molds.

Reena (our third grader) patiently waited her turn for a spot in JudyArt. Eager, to add her own sculptors to our ever growing collection, she was thrilled, to have received a place in this year’s JudyArt Wednesday chug. Each week, I dropped her off and was grateful, that Reena like Ellie and Aderet had the outstanding privilege of gaining from Judy. I looked forward to driving back and forth to Rechov Yosef when Charlie was old enough to join.

NO – It’s Not Fair

A few weeks ago, I found myself, once again, illegally, parked outside of JudyArt, waiting for Reena’s chug to end. Instead of chatting with me from the window (i.e., begging me to please not park in her neighbor’s spot), Judy sat next to me in the front seat of my car. Conscious of the fact, that I undoubtedly say the wrong thing, I tried hard to remain quiet and internalize her news. Tears began streaming down my face, and my heart starting racing. Driving away, I prayed for her recovery. I reflected on Judy’s HIGH ENERGY, modesty, mentorship, and radiance. Grateful for the blessing of a relationship with Judy and the strong effect, she had on our family these last few years.

Aderet with her JudyArt Cow, June 2018

Disappointed that she would not be able to finish the year at JudyArt, Reena voiced my thoughts. “It’s not fair,” I agreed. It’s Not Fair. It’s not fair that the world is losing such a beautiful personality. It’s not fair that Reena, Charlie, and countless other children will not have the opportunity of being shaped and modeled by Judy Halperin.

Baruch Dayan Ha’emet – JudyArt

Baruch Dayan Ha’emet. 
‎בצער רב מאוד אנו מודיעים על פטירתה של חברתנו האהובה, ג׳ודי הלפרין.
‎ההלוויה תתקיים מחר (יום ג׳) בשעה 15:00 בבית העלמין במודיעין.

‎פרטים נוספים יישלחו בהמשך.

‎המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים

Our hearts are broken. 
Our future appears less creative. 
Our inner artistic talents more constrained.

Judy, you will forever be in our hearts, just as your JudyArt projects will forever be in our homes.

Just as you, Judy, elevated the neshamot of our children, may your neshama have an aliyah. I know Gan Eden just got more colorful!

SO thankful, for that great piece of advice to register OUR Family for JudyArt.

Please comment below and share your memories and pictures of Judy Halperin and the great impact she had on your life.

Filed Under: Blog, Parenting Tagged With: JudyArt

Have You Taught Your Infant To Swim Yet?

July 10, 2018 by Yocheved Feinerman Leave a Comment

#Summer is here!

Today, I am chatting with Ninet Chanoch the director of קייטנת פסק-זמן. I asked Ninet to give me some tips on helping my five-year-old stay safe in the #water.

Join the conversation! What questions do you have for Ninet?

https://youtu.be/VYVD3EgFcus

Filed Under: Blog, Facebook Live, Let's Talk Style, Modi'in, Parenting

Have You Snapped with Your Kids Lately?

October 19, 2017 by Yocheved Feinerman Leave a Comment

Mom, Can I get Snapchat?

NO! What I wish I could say.

I hate Snapchat!

Want a lollipop? Can I buy you a doll, instead!

Simpler times 🙂

Realistically, I won’t be able to keep my kids off Snapchat forever.

So, I took the plunge.  Before, I let them snap I started to snap with my mom friends.

Now is the time, stop saying you hate Snapchat.  

Instead, learn how to snap!  This is how we can protect our kids.

Snapchat 101 for Parents

What is it?

Snapchat is an application for mobile devices.

Subscribers can send photos to other subscribers.  

Unlike, other messaging apps, Snapchat allows users to set a 1 second to 10-second expiration of the photo.

Snapchat users can express themselves with embarrassing and silly pictures.  

Without the fear of permanence.

How did it start?

Is there a better way to convey emotions in a text message?

This was the question of Stanford University students, Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy.

They developed the concept of time-limited photo sharing.  

How to Use It

Download the app.

Register as a new user and set a password.

Add your contacts.

Start Snapping.

Take a photo, edit it, add a caption or other “doodles.”

Select the friends to send the photo to and set a timer from 1 to 10 seconds.

Once the photo message is sent, the receiver has the time set by the timer after they access the app to look at the photo before the message “self-destructs.”

Friends can then take their own photo to reply or just send a message back.

Sounds Fun

Yes, Snapchat can be a fun and engaging app.

When it is used appropriately.

Snapchat has earned a reputation for being an app that encourages cyberbullying, cyberstalking, sexting and child pornography.

We, parents, must be vigilant and monitor our children’s activities on Snapchat.  

How to Make Sure Your Teen is Safe on Snapchat

Parents need to have a real, live, one-on-one chat with their children about the risks associated with the false sense of security that Snapchat may provide.

The Conversation

Talk with your teen.

Help your kids develop the critical thinking skills needed to stay safe in the digital world.

When parents, expressing genuine interest, teens are more likely to keep parents in the loop about all the cool technology they are using.

And. They’re more likely to come to you when they need help.

Setting Up Your Teen’s Account

  • Settings:  Carefully read Snapchat’s privacy settings.  Minors should use the default “My Friends” setting. This allows users to only send and receive media from users they have added to their friends list.
    • Personal information: Teens need to be careful about sharing personally identifiable information. Never share your phone number, home address, financial and medical information.
    • Protect passwords: Make sure your kids have a strong and unique password. That should not be shared with anyone.
  • Device-level controls: Avail yourself of the Android and iOS operating systems parental controls.  Use these to actively manage your child’s phone usage.

Digital Permanence

Teens love sharing funny things with their friends, on Snapchat, assuming it will disappear in less than ten seconds.

FALSE!

A snap disappearing is not an absolute certainty.

Our teens must understand that yes, your photo will erase after ten seconds.  That does not mean your photo is actually erased forever. Easily,  a screenshot can be quickly taken, or even a photo of the screen.

If a snap is illegal, it could get them in trouble now or in the future.

Would you want Grandma to see this picture on the news? A potential employer?

There is only one way an improper video or photo never gets distributed at-large.  

Do not put it out there in the first place.

Cyber- Bullying

Bullying is not tolerated by Snapchat.

Talk to your kids about cyberbullying.

Remind them to talk to you or any other trusted adult if they are ever on the receiving end of bullying or unwanted content.

Nudity

Nude pictures violate Snapchat’s community standards.

Teens need to know that exchanging nude or sexually explicit images of anyone under 18, including themselves, can be a serious crime.

If Your Teen is Being Harassed

If your child receives abusive Snaps from another user, they need to discuss this with you or another adult.

This user should be blocked.

Report them to Snapchat’s Safety team.

You can find “Report a Safety Concern” tab in the menu.

In the event, you encounter anything that appears to be illegal or dangerous, or if you have reason to believe someone is at risk of harm or self-harm, immediately contact local law enforcement.

Delete

Delete your child’s account by going to https://accounts.snapchat.com/accounts/delete_account.  

If you wish to delete the account without your child’s username and password, you can submit a deletion request at snapchat.com/static_files/deletion_request.pdf.

Stop Hating Snapchat

Mom, you know nothing!

You don’t know how to snap!

Surprise Kid! Mom Knows!

Know the rules. Understand the notifications. Make it private. Remove the location.

I’m on Snapchat

Parents, you have to be up to date on the trending social media platforms.

    • Learn how to use them.
    • Check your kids’ profiles.
    • Teach your kids appropriate social media etiquette.
  • Open the lines of communication.

We can’t ignore the Internet.

Mom, Can I get Snapchat?

Yes… but first, let’s talk.

What other social media questions do you have?

Snap me: yfhighenergymom

More Information:

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Yocheved Feinerman, High Energy Mom, covers everything in Modiin from lifestyle, family, real estate and local news.



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Filed Under: Blog, Parenting Tagged With: parenting, snapchat, snapping, social media, teens

How to Teach Kids to Say Sorry on Yom Kippur

September 26, 2017 by Yocheved Feinerman Leave a Comment

I’m back! I’m off to shul for Yom Kippur davening.

Somehow I managed to find a babysitter, and am able to join my older daughters and participate in the service.

Things have changed.  

I am a parent.

I know my kids will be watching me.

Observing my intensity. Monitoring my commitment.

I’m going to let you into my secret.

I’m nervous about the authenticity of klopping al chet in the presence of my emotionally attuned children.

I aspire to teach my children to take personal responsibility for their actions and to apologize with intent.

This Yom Kippur, I have a strategy for teaching my kids how to klop al chet.

First Teach Yourself

As a parent, I want to influence and inspire my children.

Children can’t be lectured how to sincerely apologize.

Children have to be a witness to my process.

Children need to see and feel, and be taught the right words.

My kids need to witness my struggle.

My kids need to witness my humility.

Why is it so hard to say “I’m sorry”?

By saying “I’m sorry” my imperfections are highlighted.

I feel vulnerable.

I feel ashamed.

I feel a loss of control.

Through watching me, my children will learn.

Intention

How many times (a day!) have I begged my kids to apologize.

“Just say you’re sorry!”

No!

It doesn’t work that way!

What does “I’m Sorry” really mean?

    • My actions caused harm
    • I take full responsibility for my actions and their effects
  • I will make appropriate corrections

An apology is a declaration.  

    • I promise to try my best
  • I will not repeat my mistake

An apology comes from the heart, with words full of intent – kavanah.

Guide

Can children actually have kavanah when apologizing?

Children are born with the capacity for empathy, understanding, and love.  

Sometimes, they struggle with meeting my parental expectations and navigating social norms.

Sometimes, they struggle with recognizing the extent of their mistake and the hurt they caused another.

Sometimes, they struggle with translating these feelings into a genuine willingness to make amends.

I am their guide for mediation.

I am their guide to reconciliation.

I am their guide to the art of compromise.

Empower Them

Apologizing is a choice.

I choose when to apologize.

My children deserve that same option.

I want my kids to apologize with kavanah.

I hope to empower them to decide when an apology is necessary.

Yom Kippur Community

Why do we klop al chet individually and communally on Yom Kippur?

As I look around, I realize that I am not alone.

We are all trying to improve ourselves.

Children, we are on this journey together as individuals and as a community.

Apologizing is hard work.

The Golden Rule  

מה ששנוא עליך אל תעשה לחברך שבת ל”א, ע”א

“What is hateful to you, do not do to your friend”

Would you like if someone threw your toy over the fence?

Would you feel sad if someone didn’t save you a seat on the bus?

Would you like it if your friend gossiped about you on social media?

Treat others in the way you wish to be treated.

Let’s strive for ואהבת לרעך כמוך–

Love Your Neighbor As You Love Yourself.

This is what my children need to see and to hear.

Again and Again.

Growth not Perfection

I wasn’t perfect last year. Probably, I won’t be perfect this year.

Luckily, Judaism saves perfection for angels.

Humans can grow.

Before entering a new year, during Aseret Yemei Teshuva, I go through the process of self-improvement.

The blasts of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah take me back to the past year.

Offering a chance to reflect on my actions.

Was I a good friend?

Could I have been a more patient mother?

Maybe I should have refrained from repeating that story?

The teshuva process is completed as I stand on Yom Kippur and beat my chest in authentic confession.

Now, the new year can start!

Through this humbling process, I gain insight into my behavior, and I can use the past as an opportunity for future growth.

Without any explicit instructions, my children will hopefully be inspired.

Inspired to discover who they are.

Accept that mistakes will be made.

Confident to recognize them as opportunities for growth.

My 5778 Yom Kippur Resolutions

Pay attention to my interactions with my kids.

When I’m wrong, make an effort to apologize with Kavana to my kids.

I’m not going to force my kids to say, “I’m Sorry”.

Let them make the decision when to apologize.

Ask them questions.

Help them analyze their feelings and understand the root of the problem.

Encourage them to put themselves in the other person’s place.

Remind them that an apology is a promise to not repeat the offense.

In the merit of apologies from the heart, may we all be blessed with the capacity to forgive ourselves and one another.

What are your tips for teaching your kids to apologize?

Yocheved Pianko Feinerman is “leaning in” and embracing the harmony and chaos of raising four “spirited” children, juggling an active career as an educator, and writer while planning the next 24-hour getaway with her husband.   

 Facebook https://www.facebook.com/highenergymom, Instagram http://www.instagram.com/highenergymom and Twitter
http://www.twitter.com/highenergymom1.

(Originally posted in the Times of Israel on September 26

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/5778-the-year-i-will-teach-my-kids-to-klop-al-chet/

Filed Under: Blog, Parenting, Published Articles, Yom Kippur Tagged With: parenting, times of israel, yom kippur

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